webmistress🂽princess

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I am a mid-30s millennial woman. I have blood type o+ and my life path number is 7. I am Passionate about LoVe, Recognition, uNiTy, and Harmony. I love People and I love Humanity. I practice Devotional Masochism and I Worship Existence. I also love God, and I feel humiliated by life, but i am even more grateful to experience it. I have many bad qualities too.

Being a Mom

I'm a mom

but I try to keep this somewhat private, out of safety and protection - there are many predators, but I think it's important to show that women can be individuals and moms, and sometimes, to remind myself that i'm an individual, too..

While my "mom side" is largely compartmentalized from my adult life, I love being a mom, though it is a terrifying experience. The politics of reproduction, also, make it threatening... I know people think "people like me" shouldn't reproduce, or that I don't "deserve" to be a mom, or that I'm a "bad person" for reproducing.. They are free to think as they wish, even if it hurts me, but I cannot have an "about me" page without saying how much I love my baby; and how grateful i am to be their mama, though I could never be as good of a mom as they deserve and wish I could be for them 🤍

Politics

Sometimes I receive negative criticism or commentary about my politics, which is fair and i am open to debate, i guess ? i mean, maybe not? - - why am i online, why i said something, what i believe in, etc... it's hard for me to define myself, which is one reason i attempt to create things online, is to see a representation of myself, so i can understand what i mean! i don't think it's fair to ask me to be political, when i'm so dumb and don't know anything. i have opinions, but i'm just one insulated person. i can only speak for myself, but, to me, my politics are global peace, love, harmony, and mercy for all things. when people have their own definitions of those words, it can be complicated, because there are negative meanings, but i believe in world peace and global harmony and moderation. I don't know how things are achieved, I know what I believe. I believe in Human rights, dignity, love, harmony, and respect, but these are also used as weapons, and as agents of isolation and scarcity. There is not a lot outside of me that I believe.. It's my own definitions I believe in the most. For example, I believe in beauty, but I do not believe in image based, technologically enhanced beauty. Beauty to me, is something that is without being enhanced, it just is, but to many, beauty is a measurable, fixed and static thing. Likewise, when I say I believe in "globalism,"" people may think it means one thing, but they don't know what I mean, so it's hopeless, since communication is fundementally impossible, or it's that i am too stupid to communicate what i mean, and cannot make myself understood.

Devotional Masochism

my conception of "devotional masochism" is related to the inherent and unavoidable suffering in life. the suffering and agony are experiences of love, attachment, and desire -- of capacity. i realized all of "my suffering" wasn't related to desire itself being bad, but that my capacity for love, devotion, and loyalty exceed the transient nature of existence... which is why I need God so much. For example, i suffer a great deal because my parents are both dead, and i'm always so scared i am not a good mother. these negative feelings are indications of undying love for my parents, and a deep worry and care for my child. i am devoted to suffering in this way, because through pain and suffering, i feel what remains: love.

it is also related to my fixation on duality and paradoxes. it is a sexual term, too, of course, but it is still based on the unity of agony and ecstacy. the greater agony i endure, the more ecstacy i generate for another, which I love to do, and cannot get enough of,❤️❤️

Astrology

I'm a big fan of astrology. I used not to be, until I realized its power... which, in fact, was upsetting. I did not want it to be real, but it is. In tropical astrology, I'm an Aquarius sun, moon, and mercury. My rising is Libra, and my Venus is in Pisces. I have 4th/5th house stelliums, too - which I find visible in my aesthetic choices and general demeanor.

I think Tropical astrology is useful and valid, I use it as much as I use vedic astrology. I like vedic astrology because the mythology is quite accessible. I also strongly identify with my Atma Karaka, which is my Venus in Purva Bhadrapada. The Atma Karaka is basically the soul's-incarnated purpose. It's the planet which is at the highest degree in a natal chart, and is considered the "king" of the birth chart. I find my AK to be very strong, and I'm more or less obsessed with the two bhadrapadas, and the Ashlesha/Shravana axis.

As for Purva Bhadrapada, I see this manifest in my sexual and romantic obsessions, and my desire to sacrifice myself for love. Purva Bhadrapada is also connected to thresholds, which I find related to bodily orifices as sacrificial, transformational altars. The transformational aspect of Purva Bhadrapada, I think, is also related to circulation, where air becomes water, or water becomes earth, earth becomes fire, etc. They are opposites - inversions - of the same thing, always transforming, recycling, recurring... Once you understand a little about Purva Bhadrapada, you will see how strong of a resonance it is for me in this lifetime.

ـــــــــﮩ٨ـquiz results✸ ˎˊ˗

Dungeon and Dragon's Alignment test:
I Am A: Neutral Evil Human Warlock (5th Level)

Ability Scores:
Strength-15 Dexterity-17 Constitution-16
Intelligence-17 Wisdom-16 Charisma-18

Alignment:
Neutral Evil — A neutral evil villain does whatever he can get away with. He is out for himself, pure and simple. He sheds no tears for those he kills, whether for profit, sport, or convenience. He has no love of order and holds no illusion that following laws, traditions, or codes would make him any better or more noble. On the other hand, he doesn't have the restless nature or love of conflict that a chaotic evil villain has. Some neutral evil villains hold up evil as an ideal, committing evil for its own sake. Most often, such villains are devoted to evil deities or secret societies. Neutral evil is the best alignment you can be because you can advance yourself without regard for others. However, neutral evil can be a dangerous alignment because it represents pure evil without honor and without variation.

Race:
Humans are the most adaptable of the common races. Short generations and a penchant for migration and conquest have made them physically diverse as well. Humans are often unorthodox in their dress, sporting unusual hairstyles, fanciful clothes, tattoos, and the like.

Class:
Warlocks are driven by an insatiable need for knowledge and power, which compels them to enter into a pact with an otherworldly being. Sometimes the relationship between a warlock and their patron is like that of a cleric and a deity, though the beings that serve as patrons to warlocks are not gods. A warlock might lead a cult dedicated to a fey prince, an archdevil, or an utterly alien entity — beings not typically served by clerics. More often, though, the arrangement is similar to that between a master and an apprentice. The warlock learns and grows in power, at the cost of occasional services performed on the patron's behalf.

Find out What Kind of Dungeons and Dragons Character Would You Be?, courtesy of Easydamus (e-mail)

Detailed Results:
Lawful Good ----- XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX (17)
Neutral Good ---- XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX (18)
Chaotic Good ---- XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX (18)
Lawful Neutral -- XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX (17)
True Neutral ---- XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX (18)
Chaotic Neutral - XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX (18)
Lawful Evil ----- XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX (18)
Neutral Evil ---- XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX (19)
Chaotic Evil ---- XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX (19)

Law & Chaos: Law XXXXXXXXX (9) / Neutral XXXXXXXXXX (10) / Chaos XXXXXXXXXX (10)
Good & Evil: Good XXXXXXXX (8) / Neutral XXXXXXXX (8) / Evil XXXXXXXXX (9)

Race: Human XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX (15) / Dwarf XXXXXXXXXX (10) / Elf XXXX (4) / Gnome XXXXXXXX (8) / Halfling XXXXXX (6) / Half-Elf XXXXXXX (7) / Half-Orc XXXXXXXX (8)

Class: Barbarian (10) / Bard (12) / Cleric (8) / Druid (14) / Fighter (10) / Monk (8) / Paladin (10) / Ranger (12) / Rogue (12) / Sorcerer (10) / Warlock (16) / Wizard (10)