Eugenics Forever – XOXO, OnlineAngel69

Displaced, without a home on the Internet


Do you think I care? Do you honestly think I care? In the deep of your heart, you know I don’t.

Face the banishment, the degradation, the humiliation, the confinement, the policing, the constant control, the uselessness, the forced impotence, the mockery of effort, the ridicule for speaking, the betrayal behind friendship, the friendship obscuring romantic desire hiding a desire for possession and control. Face the affirmation of your existence on the denial of anything else. From your insulated perch of social extravagance, face what you cast down and oppress to preserve the reach of your heights. Surveillance chic for the wealthy and elite. Prison tracking reconnaissance for the poor. Everything good for us, and everything bad for them. Life for us, death to them. Everything we love is good, and can only be good, and everything they love is bad, and can only be bad. We’ll build a world of people just like us and we’ll leave everyone else to die. They deserved it, they didn’t match our vibe 🙂

Return the world to Devonian Bacterial Swamp. Atomize everyone and cauterize the bonds of relational exchange. Transaction only. What will you do for me? How can I benefit from knowing you? Make it more explicit, expose the cunning self-absorbed predator to the light and elevate them. Me. Me.

I’m going to sit alone in my autonomous vehicle and listen to Spotify where all the pop songs are poetry on manifesting, lyrics of words of affirmation, “I’m So Special, I’m So Lovely, All The World Is Made For Me. I’m Rich, I’m Pretty, I’m Everything, And Everyone is Jealous of Me.” I’ll play Tibetan Singing Bowls for Auric Cleansing in the background, and I’ll diffuse lavender oil throughout the car, where I paid one million to line the floors in sheets of cut Amethyst #spiritualprotection.

I’m on my way to pick up my organic produce grown in the fully automated farm plot I rent from Alibamazon in the center of Chicago. While having my aura cleansed and my manifestations locked in, floating down the streets, I watch, on my ultrahaptic hologram projection screen, the robots packaging my spinach and strawberries, streaming from the farm’s app, which grants me 24/7 surveillance footage access, to monitor the growth of my plants, check the light and temperature, schedule pick-ups, and select new seeds to plot—as long as I ascend and unlock new food resources.

I have twelve million tokens saved, which I’ve earned through a combination of positive online behaviors, such as: honesty, compliments, brand support, reading articles before sharing them, receiving positive engagement from others, speaking in a tone of neutrality and objectivity, and refusing to engage in any bullying, anonymity, irony, sarcasm, or any form of expression that is figurative or metaphorical.

I would never dream of voicing criticism without the granted authority of a What’s Trending or Most Viewed News Headline mass opinion, first. When I do my online shopping, I receive additional tokens for making wise consumer choices that align with my social score, personality profile, and ecological impact. Companies want me to self-actualize. They want the best for me in every way and they want me to be a productive, value-driving user upon the Earthly Platform Space.

My biosensing tracker makes sure I earn tokens during my workouts. Some users have elevated so far that they earn tokens through basic human behaviors like breathing, urinating, and orgasming. Of course, each of those behaviors are granularly mined for value. Urine with abnormal composition won’t be as well paid and neither will shallow inhalations. Those who’ve ascended to the top of the spiritual pyramid can even be paid per heartbeat.

I spend a few hours each day playing video games in an EEG headset and earn currency through leveling up and experiencing joy, suspense, and other emotions, at the right moments during the game. When I reach a new level within the game, I get real tokens, too. I supplement my income by exploring my soul’s purpose with the help of my friends, who I pay a cumulative 10,000 tokens each month for their services as astrologers, reiki and breathwork practitioners, international crystal miners, trauma coaches, love coaches, flirting and texting coaches, selfie coaches, manifesting gurus, finance advisors, editors, brokers, auditors, teachers, social presence specialists, conversation feedback groups, emotional support collectives, and many others who have helped me realize that I love to draw. I sell my online drawings and earn extra income and tokens for adding value to The Human Culture Project©.

I was contracted as a possible outcome on the blockchain in 2024 when my parents were married and the data trails following each of them were combined into a simulated model predicting their future life together. Two months later, I was conceived, and given my own private key, which has followed me since before I was born.

As an embryo, during my mother’s prenatal checkups, my progress as a developing fetus was also logged on the blockchain. Immutable, uneditable. I can still look at how I functioned, and I can check the inchoate development of anyone else, just the same. I can see that some people had problems in their early development, and I can cross-check that with their family’s financial and health records, intelligence scores, biosensing data, psychological profile records. There’s usually a link somewhere that predicts why bad things happen to people. There’s always a cause that leads back to them. Some people just aren’t made to live.

We start earning tokens from the moment we’re conceived and we learn quickly how best to behave. In high school, it gets intense, Just Like It Was Before. Material clothes and certain ways of dressing up our avatars are rare commodities, but the virtual stores are just as luxurious, and without earning enough tokens in-game, or doing well enough in school, you can’t unlock certain lifestyle advantages. The people who own real material clothes are always well-off, and the pieces often get stolen or sold off to digital museums as a flex. This competition and the ruthless, high-level predation of every resource better prepares us for life as adults, where access to food, water, healthcare, information, relationship possibilities are entirely dependent on earning tokens and generating positive value for The Human Culture Project©.

I worked so hard to ingratiate myself in the upper echelons of life experience gurus. I had to insert a smart dildo inside of me while the ultrahaptic hologram projected one of the whale’s faces above me as if we were having sex. In exchange, I made a smart mesh mold of my vagina to send to him. He has a collection of them that he displays next to his bookshelf that everyone can see during real-time biological view videocalls. The trophies displayed aren’t shocking to anyone, since the sexual transaction is already documented publicly on the blockchain.

With his social approval and inclusion in his network, I gained entry to invite-only servers and channels, which granted me access to larger audiences who could buy my visual experience services. I spend a great deal of time keeping up to date within my networks. Without them, I wouldn’t be able to survive. It’s Just Like It Was Before when people worked together and kept each other safe. We look out for one another. We share each other’s content and donate tokens, subscribe, and engage with their cognitive entertainment and enlightenment services. It’s just like living in a commune except it’s a real utopia.

Most people can become like me. It just takes a few sacrifices here and there and a commitment to being the Best Version of You in the Best Timeline in the Best Universe. It means looking out for oneself, putting yourself first in every situation. Cutting the cords of relationships and sociality. Simplify. Socialization was always intended to be transcendental growth. Friendships were always meant to enlighten, and friend groups were always meant to bring one another into greater alignment. Socializing is meant to enforce norms, rules, dictate desired behavior and ideology, cohere members into a unified whole. We’re lucky now to make it so explicit and understood. And that we get paid for it. Every opinion should be financially compensated, and no one thinks to dream of creating something, even a single simple sentence, without a financial incentive in the background. If someone changes and their services are no longer needed in our life journey, we can simply stop paying the subscription. We don’t need jobs anymore when we have fully customized, rentable social groups.

There’s a natural hierarchy to the world. It’s up to the individual to learn their strengths and play on them with the hand they’ve been dealt. Individuals with internal deficits or other social weaknesses simply belong beneath others. It’s their natural state. And to interfere with the predation of the strong over the weak by implementing any controls or protections is an act of blasphemy against God. It’s up to the individual to prove their worth and position within the cultural hierarchy. Individuals with talent will naturally rise to the top. Any obstacle placed in their path is of their own doing, whether through manifestation, mindset, or an internal failure of adaptation. There is, in fact, nothing impeding the agency of the individual and the individual’s capacity to expand and replicate itself across the social sphere except the individual.

I’m arriving in front of the gated entry to the Alibamazon Organic Fulfillment Center. I hold out my golden microchip implanted hand like a princess to be scanned by the entry portal. There is one room where humans are allowed to enter and the rest of the farm, like so many other places, are human-entry-prohibited. The repair and delivery workers are mostly robots now and the few humans left usually troubleshoot remotely. The entire structure is run by billions of microchips, sensors, robots, and drones.

A holographic screen pops up next to the delivery slot. It alerts me of my available fruits, vegetables, and lab-grown nutrient substitutes for next month. Based on a combination of my current health and recent and predicted behavioral data, the display options reflect what’s best for me in this present moment. It tells me that I can have bananas and clementines next week, with an iron enhanced gray slab. Once I earn enough tokens, I can access differently colored slab meats, like red and salmon pink, and a variety of fruits. I’ll reach that level someday, as long as I continue playing the game… of life 🙂 and I aim to win, because losers never make it anywhere, except to their nameless, forgettable, and deserving deaths. We’re leveling up into ever more enlightened utopias without them.

Ok. I feel better now.
Obviously, that little story was FACETIOUS and does NOT AT ALL reflect my views in ANY WAY.
I’ve been frustrated lately so I had to sublimate it somehow and fast. I think being around actual eugenicists on the internet, and just, in culture, generally, has harmed me and I didn’t realize the extent of the spread of the desire to cull the “weak”. Every meme of “you’re not going to make it” “low IQ behavior” juxtaposition of (always) two fucking things (less overt than the other two, but still signals the message of (weak behavior = bad = reject = kill (or if you’re deluded, help through conversion which is another type of killing.) I love to escalate and condense, fuck off). Combined with WEB 2.0 (RIP?) social media silicon valley libertarianism now fusing with web3 “decentralized” libertarianism…I’m excited to see how we’ll treat the people who are determined to have no value to give.

Web2 is permeated by Social Darwinist thinking. Which, to me, is the American Soft Imperialism angle of the internet. What I mean is that social media is built on this social structure where the “best content” will naturally become popular and the most interesting or value-generating users will rise to the top and that’s how you can become an influencer and make millions.

I see a similarity between the dependency on the social network platform shaping the trajectory of “decentralized” software platforms that seem to be based on knowing someone, having an invitation, bringing with you some kind of “value” or recognition that gains you entry into the walled gardens (very AOL, pre-internet reminiscent) of various “decentralized” networks. And they always go back to the centralized networks to advertise themselves because that’s how you reach the m(ass)es.

Don’t ever think that the people who want to sell you something respect you. When people say something is “great,” and “good,” all it means is that it’s great and good for them. If you’re not benefiting like they are maybe there’s something wrong with you. They’re just trying to help you…

Group dynamics aren’t going to dissipate because of a new computer. Group dynamics never seem to actually shift. They just mutate themselves to adapt to whatever new tool we’ve developed. Centuries of coercion, domination, exploitation, greed, murder, war, violence, subjugation. It’s all going to change because of a new way of computing.

In my humble, dumb opinion: it’s never a problem of technology itself. On the one hand, technology reflects and is imbued with the values of its creator, but that doesn’t mean it’s tethered to that usage only or can’t be modified and adapted later on. The real problem with both the creation and application of technology is humanity, OBVIOUSLY…and humanity doesn’t really seem to change.

What the screaming eugenics propaganda has made me realize is just how little people care about the weak, and especially the “weak” not in the spotlight, the suffering who only gain wrathful nihilistic pity and contemptuous scorn. You can keep exposing new and newer victims of humanity to the masses, keep each group of them on seasonal rotation, but they will always exist. There is always an underbelly substructure propping up whatever it is you think is pristine and pure. But it’s not just that it seems those with luxury don’t care, it’s almost like an active hatred, scorn, and resentment of people who, for whatever reason, are deemed lesser. And the “less-than” is expanding to include the most benign behaviors and the silliest views. It’s giving me literal 2000s high school libertarian whiplash flashbacks. Gut institutions of everything, erode trust in them, no regulations, no laws, no taxes: let us dump our chemical waste where we want without consequence. Privatize everything, make the individual responsible for as many things as possible. Don’t like the chemical pollution in your water? Maybe invest in an industrial-grade filter. Don’t like that the firefighters come an hour too late? Invest in your own fire fighting equipment. Don’t like being raped, robbed, and attacked? Buy your own gun, pay for your own physical defense classes, hang the rapist in your basement through the justice of your own court. Don’t like the falling apart infrastructure, industrial production of food, and collapse of local communities? Go buy a farm and get into animal husbandry yourself. It’s literally on you. [don’t look at who you have to buy these things from]

This is a real AMERICANIZATION of the internet. This shit was so popular in the 2000s. These things were the answer to Bush/Cheney and it was so hardcore and revolutionary back then. It’s like anarchy for the powerful. This strain of Americanism, where everything is the burden of the individual, trickles into fucking everything. Every behavior is a pathology, every problem is caused by something the individual has done. There is no OUTSIDE. THERE IS NO SOCIAL. It is pure individualism. If the individual cannot find a social group to support them, that’s their fault. If the individual cannot afford healthcare, that’s their fault. And, not only is it their fault, but it’s completely their responsibility to “fix” everything wrong with themselves. Disgusting and juvenile logic. It’s like getting into solipsism when you’re 14 and never coming out of it. However, this logic is pervasive on the internet. It’s all on you, when it comes down to everything in your life, you are responsible for everything. Do not ever look at the substructure, do not look at the logic that sustains the superstructure. Just think about yourself, like a little rat, in a maze too large. Don’t worry about it, just do your best to survive.

In all of those kinds of memes, “LOW IQ” “NGMI”—what they say to me is that the devalued behavior is not just a behavior enacted by a person of inherent inalienable value, but an intrinsic failure of the person entirely, an abdication of their value as a whole, and almost like an inferior moral positioning of the individual who enacts that behavior. It’s so fucking ugly. THAT is the real spiritual sickness. Being fucking so unnecessarily cruel, throwing darts of shame without reason, just to hurt. It’s like, we all know life is full of troubles and horrible pain already. We are all aware of how many things in life hurt. And then, so many of us just add onto that pile of struggle with disgusting displays of sadistic selfishness. Cutting people off in the road, being rude to others, humiliating them, glaring and staring and making fun, harassing. Tons of little things that don’t need to happen, for a self-gain that is so minimal compared to how much harm it can inflict. And a lot of these people LIKE IT. they LIKE that little pulse of self-gain that puts them above of, in front, on top of others. Throw those spikes and get as many people pinned beneath you as possible. Get a reaction, light a fire and put people into a panicked frenzy. You’re so in control, now, aren’t you? Fuck you.

But you know who often reaches out for a central authority? People in need. People who’ve been wronged and don’t have the power or resources to defend themselves or gain some kind of justice. Central authority exists to counteract the “powers” that develop in social groups. Some of us need an outside authority to mediate group conflict and to defend the rights of those being exploited. Centralization isn’t inherently bad. There needs to be protection for people and you can’t always count on your “peers” to do that for you. We can just build a mask over the institutions that have failed us and leave anyone who still needs that support to suffer. “Get a farm, move to a bunker.” Okay, good for you. What about everyone else?

It’s frightening to think of a world where the people who have less power are further robbed of sometimes their only recourse against those who prey on them, or to be dependent on the charity of strangers, or have all our lives reduced to so many controlled and surveilled micropayments for microtasks on our computers (maybe that’s “good”, that’s what followers and likes have already conditioned us with. We can just turn this all into currency, every human behavior a speculative market, every human action a chance to make money. You want to be sheep and cattle? Let’s do it.)

Someday we’ll fix things instead of exacerbating them.
I’m so sleepy. Goodnight

Procrastinating on TYPING FOR SELF-HEALING.

I got a bit lost in early 2010s fashion blogosphere searching, originally…. for ozone purification and water treatment facilities. I want to type here but I’m scared. I think I should just type as quickly as possible with as little thought as possible and I think that will act as a cleanser.

It helps to reassure myself that no one is going to read this. Even though part of me wants people to read it, there is another, larger part of myself that does not. The point is that no one but me will read this. I’m completely safe to exist publically and no one will notice. Blended in completely.

I gained probably 10lbs since October. For that procedure, I couldn’t exercise /at all/ and could only walk walk walk. not even jog! bending was a problem for a while there too and so even cleaning become troublesome. I was very immobile and deranged. And, while I do love to take extreme caution and err on the side of safety at all times! The potential consequences of skipping, jumping, running, or bending weirdly, were so fucking terrifying and lethal that even if I did feel capable of moving around, I wouldn’t have taken the risk. And then, of course, I have a terrible sweet tooth, and I couldn’t exercise, stretch too much, no more caffeine, no cigarettes, no dancing! and the … mysterious substances … completely dysregulated my already chaotic emotions and it gave me even worse cravings for sweets! so anyway, i’m a fat fuck again. i don’t want to talk about weight really, i’m just sort of sad that i gained weight which everyone is telling me now is not the time to worry about gaining weight, and i can’t weigh myself either because i don’t want to supertrigger myself. it’s just….. well. yes…

other than that. yesterday was thanksgiving and i’m glad i don’t live in the united states anymore and am liberated from celebrating that holiday. i know many of my fellow American citizens online think talking shit about the United States is pathetic and weak or something. they’re probably right, being as i am quite pathetic and incredibly weak..🤍 but i wanted to type a bit about “My Personal Experience.” Also, the last time I video chatted with my mom before she died on December 30th of last year was on Thanksgiving, which makes this time of year generally troublesome.

We bought an artificial tree this year, and it’s the first artificial tree I’ve ever had in my life. My dad’s family would always make such a drama out of having a real tree. As another side note, specifically relating to Twitter- my dad’s family owns a huge amount of farmland in Iowa that my grandmother rents out to farmers and I spent a great deal of time as a child on her farm, and so, I always get triggered about Twitter ruralist people. I think the wide-open spaces expose a sense of predation and I don’t like feeling unprotected. Probably because I spend so much time alone, I wouldn’t ever survive outside of the structure humankind has made to protect each other. People underestimate the variety of one another’s experiences, I think.

In any case, we set the tree up today, and since both my parents are dead. Technically, they were both dead last Christmas too, _{(I just remembered after rereading this that she died December 30, sorry, I literally was disassociated for a month when she died, I don’t have many clear memories and keep forgetting the exact date please don’t judge me it’s also because we were in lockdown and I couldn’t go to the US or be part of anything related to her death)} but I was too stunned and disassociated then to remember much of it. It feels like this is the first real year that they’re both dead. Anyway, if they were alive, I know my mom probably wouldn’t care because she was so far out of reality anyway but also because she had a fake tree. If my dad were alive though, I think he’d be disturbed, to say the least. He would always make sure that I got a “real tree.” What is the obsession? It’s something simple but it’s something that confirms what I thought when my mom died: no one will care what I do anymore. My dad would be mildly outraged if he knew that we bought a fake tree. A FAKE SILVER Christmas tree! And so narrow that it looks like a needle. I realized, looking at it today, that sometimes I don’t even know what I like because I have to make sure other people like it (and determine if whether or not they’re lying after asking them 10,000 times) and only after other people like it, can I like it, or think I like it. Really though, I don’t think I like many things. In reality, there are so many imperfections and things that simply are not right, just… off in a way that I can’t tolerant. Anyway, it feels weird to have this Christmas tree that flies in the face of all the traditions and norms that I grew up with and how it doesn’t matter… hahah, I know it’s so trivial and dumb. Whatever. Whenever I talk about my parents being dead, I feel like I’m being self-indulgent. I have a really hard time being open about anything that hurts.  If I think about it, it’s going to hurt. And I don’t want to come off as being poor me pity me! I don’t want pity or anything, I just want to document it online… because I like to…

More to the point of Thanksgiving. It’s a nice holiday, in theory. To take the last Christmas I spent with my dad’s family (because I grew up with them and barely saw my mom, etc) which was in 2015… my cousin took my grandmother’s medications and mixed them with heroin while his parents got wasted and my aunt and cousin got wine drunk and it was just uncomfortable and sad. So, thanksgivings growing up were just awful. I don’t want to live in the past too much. People seem to think that you should take the abuse and endure it, but sometimes, a lot of times, you really shouldn’t. It’s probably better to break away and forge your own traditions and create your own life. It was for me, at least, I think. Without the abuse from my family, I don’t think I’d have ever been able to leave. That’s why being a scapegoat is so enlightening <3.

But I AM LIVING IN THE PAST! I think I should go to sleep soon. But then, there is such a competition in the future, and anyway. I miss my parents. It honestly fucking sucks, that’s really all it is. And I need to fly all the way back to America to see my dad’s grave or … view (?) my mom’s separated ashes, which I really didn’t like, but doesn’t matter. Oh well. I guess, I feel a bit sad, if I’m being honest. Ok. I’m feeling like a failure or something? Wait, no… I think I feel like a failure because I feel sad. and you know, in America, that makes sense. if you’re sad, then you’ve done something wrong, and you need to fix yourself. But then again, I can’t speak for America. It’s been three years since I’ve been there and I was only there for two weeks to take care of my dad’s death and the time before that was two weeks in 2015. So, I’ve only been there a month in the past six years :0… My grandma used to insinuate that my leaving the US killed my dad. And she guilt-tripped me for how I had abandoned him and left him. Coming from the same woman who told me she would’ve preferred my dad to have died rather than her other son, who was her favorite. But I still wonder! Of course. And I committed one of, definitely the second, if not th first, worst things I’ve done in my life a week before he died. So it’s always felt like my fault that he died. It’s dumb to make the world about me, I don’t like that I have that tendency, but sometimes I even think maybe if I hadn’t moved to France then the pandemic wouldn’t have happened. Considering my agoraphobia when I first moved here.. and how the pandemic literally cured me of it… that’s just so convenient and well, other things too. I don’t want to weaponize my own psyche against me by disclosing too much. It’s impossible to move on though. I think, okay. It’ll be a year that my mom’s been dead on December 30 and it was three years this year that my dad died on September 20, so that’s still new, it’s like really new to be an adult orphan … thing. I think it’s okay. I need reassurance that it’s okay to be sad about this lol. And what is there even to do about it? FEEL….🐜

The United States really scares me and I’m really scared of being poor again because of how you can be treated when you’re poor in the United States. I’m scared of flying back because I have a paranoid fear of being put in jail and not being able to get out. When I lived in the United States, it felt like there wasn’t any security or safety anywhere. It was so, go-go-go-go-go-go all the time. Everything was a competition. Pathologized. From my perspective, in the US, nothing can ever simply be. Not that anything ever is, but you know what I mean. Vacations, which to me, are one of the ultimate “being” moments, since on them, one normally just “is” and doesn’t “do.” Okay? You get it, right? It’s a good example because even vacations are highly politicized. I remember feeling envy and inferiority and like a failure because I didn’t have a job that gave me nice holidays. And I could never big trips and. can you believe that I’ve only ever been to Disneyworld in Paris?? (making a joke but growing up we just drove to Iowa. I’ve not visited much of the US…). And, no offense, and of course my narcissism could be playing a role here: but vacations in the US, (and by extension social media reflects a lot of this) are like, a performance to display one’s status and wealth. Vacations are not simply to relax and recuperate but in fact are opulent productions that let everyone know how much they’re Doing and how well they’re Doing what They’re Doing. And that filters down to everything. It’s so hard to relax in the US. It’s hard to feel safe. If you’re not Doing then someone else is and they’re going to Do It Better and then You’ll Lose and Be a Failure. I have a skewed vision of the world, this is true. It just scares me. And the lack of social support really frightens me. I had some very generous friends in the US though, and my best friend, of course, who still lives there. When I was homeless for those few months, friends let me stay with them until I finally found that cheap room. It’s incredible, actually the lengths to which we need people to survive. DEPENDENCY. I am in a co-dependent relationship with society. Whatever anything I could ever say has already been said, done, analyzed, reinterpreted, improved upon, built, destroyed, then remade.

Anyway, what else. I feel weirdly needy for this type of specific human interaction which I cannot discuss. The world though, it’s so enchanted and magical, I’ve never understood the need for material to make the mundane a horrifying fantasy. I don’t understand the concept of separation. On a certain level, obviously, yes. But the idea of being separated from the mystical or miraculous… maybe it’s some kind of engineered need, was it always necessary for humans to have something to fight against and oppose to survive? I think that “Hegelian dialectic” (from my very very very dumb uninformed mind) well, it’s simply very imprisoning isn’t it. Because even opposing it creates it. Ugh, disgusting….I don’t want to feel like I understand life but when I think about the liver, for example, Liver of Life. I am a liver. Livers are so marvelous. LIVERS are enchanted. They regenerate and they’re an entire alchemical station unto themselves. Transmuting all sorts of things into other things. That’s really, I don’t like to attach myself to ideas, but that’s so much of what life is. And with that it mind, it makes everything feel a bit dull. Just experiencing things to transform them inside my cells for some other purpose…which, thinking of that mystery makes it less boring…I suppose. But I’d rather feel suffocated and trapped inside an endless loop. If everything is understood why bother living. That’s why I must believe that everyone is wrong. It’d kill my will to live to think humans could ever Know it All. Kisses to your Liver. I send so much love to it!