Why Won’t God Punish Me Harder … and Harder and Harder?

March felt beautifully long. Time was so sweet, stretching out life like that, making it slow for me (and maybe for you too?). It’s is one of my favorite months, because it is two years in only one month — the boundary between the desolation of winter and the resurgence of life and regeneration of spring. It’s so beautiful, romantic and tragic! Early in the month — the world is dreamy, hazy — it’s still cold and dark, and we’re at the end of winter. By mid-February, you can feel the sun coming back, but March is when it really starts to feel close, though you’re still prisoner to winter… until finally!! Spring comes and you’re in a whole new cycle again !!! What a gift, even if life is violent and terrifying…

I haven’t been posting much because Lover’s Palace took a big reservoir of water out from my soul. I wrote in 4 days, and it was triggering/illuminating? It made me realize that my fantasies of romance and true love fairy tales actually damage my real-life functioning. While doing the dishes, cleaning, grocery shopping, brushing my teeth… I start wondering… why isn’t Prince Charming coming to rescue me, and torture me with his otherworldly love? Why am I cleaning, when I should be in a remote castle, weaving golden threads, locked in a cage, whispering my poems and love-songs to him, like his pet dove? Maybe that’s what I’m doing, but it only seems like I’m in a concrete apartment, surrounded by plastics, and all this modernity is a façade on a more enchanted reality…