Why Won’t God Punish Me Harder … and Harder and Harder?

March felt beautifully long. Time was so sweet, stretching out life like that, making it slow for me 💗 (and maybe for you too?). It’s is one of my favorite months, because it is two years in only one month — the boundary between the desolation of winter and the resurgence of life and regeneration of spring. It’s so beautiful, romantic and tragic! Early in the month — the world is dreamy, hazy — it’s still cold and dark, and we’re at the end of winter. By mid-February, you can feel the sun coming back, but March is when it really starts to feel close, though you’re still prisoner to winter… until finally!! Spring comes and you’re in a whole new cycle again !!! ⏰☀️👒🌷🌸💗 What a gift, even if life is violent and terrifying…

I haven’t been posting much because Lover’s Palace took a big reservoir of water out from my soul. I wrote in 4 days, and it was triggering/illuminating? It made me realize that my fantasies of romance and true love fairy tales actually damage my real-life functioning. While doing the dishes, cleaning, grocery shopping, brushing my teeth… I start wondering… why isn’t Prince Charming coming to rescue me, and torture me with his otherworldly love? Why am I cleaning, when I should be in a remote castle, weaving golden threads, locked in a cage, whispering my poems and love-songs to him, like his pet dove? Maybe that’s what I’m doing, but it only seems like I’m in a concrete apartment, surrounded by plastics, and all this modernity is a façade on a more enchanted reality…