➽────❥latest diary entry

⋆｡°✩moodboard

narcotic v.

trying to cope with separating from my husband after 11 years

survival.

click the date to read more

25/10/2024

redesign about, paintings, now, & contact pages
redesign landing page...
change theme on /saturn (?) the green in contrast to the warmth of the new main page is unnerving to me

12/09/2024

♡ i've been working on a site that i am going to try to keep very simple and very focused on chemicals, so i'm going to be over there, updating and sharing notes about what i'm reading.
i've been thinking about re-designing /iloveyou. maybe even doing away with this slug. after everything that's happend recently, i want to escape the bondage of public displays of love and romance. the world doesn't deserve that. which makes me think, maybe that's why modernity is so clinical, so plain. i've always thought that the public was made to be accesible, which automatically made impossible the possibility of an ornate, decorative and detailed space. but now, i think, we just don't deserve romance and beauty. well, maybe not so far as that, but people don't deserve my love or my beauty. it's also becoming a concern to me since stopping make-up. i feel that my bare face is more intimate than one that's wearing make-up... whatever, anyway.
i want to make a button for my petrochemical site ♡
i will reply to messages in the guestbook when i feel a bit more social. i'm really in an asocial hermit mode.

29/08/2024

♡ still need to post quiz, it's my alcoholism-proxy burden . . .
♡ need to update /graphics.html (!) + it gives me a reason to clean up my incredibly disorganized image assets 0.0
♡ i've been priortizing cleaning up my site, so i can feel it's secure when i start my new job, and type up the retrospective, and how my ptsd is like severely triggered by so much change

27/08/2024

♡ ~~really want to add spotify playlists to music page~~
♡ type up reflection on almost a decade of unemployement and fear about working
♡ ~~fix up little details around the site ?~~
♡ i want to post the quiz but like, lol, the results ? i wrote like a paragraph for each, and now i'm insecure and it's just so intimidating. i don't know if i can do it, i feel like i need to redo all of the result graphics for something more simple, just a few adjectives. what if i hurt someone's feelings ? ugh...
♡ ~~png vault photo update !~~
♡ still slowly, slowly, slowly working on my saturnian lucifierianism page but wow, it'll be ready maybe in pisces season 2025 !